Orhan's miserable abode.

I intend to do these logs rregularly. They will most likely reflect my musical tastes, and, more importantly, what I’ve been listening to recently. Note. This log is… um, well, enormous as I’m going from the beginning of my Foobar2000 playlist, which was created at the end of April.

Sasha and Digweed – Northern Exposure (expoditions) CD 2 – Classic Trance/Progressive Trance/Anthem Trance. CD1 is funky progressive. Love it, but CD 2 is more consistent, IMO. That doesn’t detract from this series, however — some of the best Trance mixes ever* put together.
Can – Future Days – Krautrock.
Steve Reich – Music for 18 musicians B-Side – Minimalism/Minimalist classical.
Joris Voorn – Balance 014 – tech house/minimal/house/disco/dub/just about everything else under the sun, insofar as dance music is concerned. This mix is an artistic statement more than anything else. I mean, the first track is made up of sections of eight disparate tracks. Get it, but don’t expect to
instantly treasure it. Although you will do that sooner or Later. I can guarantee you.
Roland Klinkenberg – Inner Laugh (James Holden Mix) – Progressive Trance. Melody is very goa-esque.
Armin – Blue Fear (Original Mix) – Progressive Trance. The best version. All the subsequent mixes sucked so hard, aside from Armin’s 2003 rehash. His best track, ever, and I can say that with strong conviction.
Michael Mayer – Immer – Microhouse/Minimal/Tech House
King Crimson – In The Court Of The Crimson King – Progressive rock. Fantastic album which evokes so many different moods from track-to-track.
CLS – Can You Feel it – classic House/Rave
Dave Clark – The Compass – Funky Techno.
Force Legato – System – EBM/Prototrance.
Gat Decor – Passion – Progressive House.
Jaydee – Plastic Dreams – House/Techno.
Robotman – Do Da Do (Plastikman Remix) – Minimal Acid Techno — absolute mind trip.
Sueno Latino – Sueno Latino – House.
Craig Richards – Fabric 01 – Tech House/Minimal/Techno.
Akufen – Skidoos – Microhouse with ambience.
Metro Area – Orange Alert (DFA Remix)
MMMM – Donna – Electro House.
Manuel Göttsching – E2-E4 – Minimalism/Progressive electronic. One track. 58 minutes.
Wighnomy Brothers & Robag Wruhme – Killerteppich – Minimal.
Ricardo Villalobos – Easy Lee – Minimal.
Superpitcher – Mushroom – Minimal/Neotrance.
Jackmaster – Fabric Live. 57 – Just about everything that shaped UK dance music, so that excludes Trance, ha.
King Tubby – The Champion – Dub Reggae.
Boogy Bytes Vol. 1 mixed by Kiki – Trance with a minimal and house edge.
D Bridge and Instra:mental Fabric Live. 50 – Half-time Drum and Bass/Ambient Drum and Bass/Whatever. This mix simply sounds so fresh and innovative for the genre. Don’t expect huge basslines. It’s very subdued. Think DnB from the 90s, with the 2010 ethos.
Frankie Knuckles Vs The Source – You’ve Got The Love (bootleg) – Classic House. I’m sure Florence and Machine took her inspiration from this bootleg… only, her vocal style, well, isn’t really suited to African American soul…
Masters At Work – Love and Happiness – House/Latin House/Progressive House
Biosphere – Substrata – Ambient. Perfect for studying to. No harsh noises, no dark ambience, whatsoever. Beautiful background music.
Birds and Souls – Birds and Souls – Tech House/Neotrance.
Diskordia – BubaMara – Techno.
James Ruskin – Detached – Melodic Techno.
Ben Simms – Manipulated (Adam Beyer Remix) – Techno.
Ignacio – Virton – Techno/Minimal Trance.
Ambassador – The Fade (Fade Mix) – Progressive/Anthem Trance.
Orbital – In sides – Ambient Techno/Don’t know what to categorise as type album.
Tensnake – Coma Cat – House. The funk and fun is coming back into House. So far, this is the only good effort I’ve seen, though I’ll have to look further, naturally.
Onur özer Lıve at Nu Echos, Riccione – Tech House/Disco House/Funky Techno.
Onur özer – Orion – Minimal.
Onur özer – Allegro Energico – Minimal. Those horns will give any so-called Tech Trance record a kick up the backside…
Danny Tenaglia Global Underground 017. London – Everything from Deep House to Funky Tribal House to Progressive Trance.
Basic Channel – Phylyp’s Track 2/1 – Techno.
Minilogue – The Leopard – Progressive/Minimal.
Michael Cassette – Kilimanjaro – Progressive House. One of my favourites for 2010.

There’s loads more that I’ve listened to in the last two months, but these records were in my Fobar 2000 playlist, so, like, easy access and all dat shiz.

At 20:30, or somewhere thereabouts, I was in one of my customary semi-apathetic/semi-content moods. I happened to stumble across some… Tech Trance — or Tech Trance? in my metaphorical music library.

This fabulous Underworld remix of Sven Vath’s Harlequin (The Beauty And The Beast) — a classic, might I add, pretty much exemplifies the true Tech Trance sound for me. That being a hybrid genre that coalesces the repetitively, rhythmically pulsating aspect of Techno with small, entrancing, arpeggiating melodies. 3nj0y 13 m1n5 0f b0r1ng g00dn355. Yes, I have developed a morbid fascination for LeetAnd, what you have all been awaiting with apprehension…Sven Vath – Harlequin (The Beauty and the beast) (Underworld Remix) — Please don’t tell me that it buffers for you, as well? Damnable service ran by the cretins at Google…

Instead of catching up on the backlog of work that has gradually accumulated over the course of two weeks, I am sat here procrastinating in the hopes of becoming the next lazy intellectual. That was quite the sentence, wasn’t it? Rather prolix-ah, prolix… What a sexy word. It evokes images of things and those things, whether animate, or in fact, inanimate evoke images of more things. And so the chain continues. Until you have things, and more things, and an endless barrage of things. Yet we haven’t defined what those things are.

I honestly need to acquire a *life* as teh young uns would say. I have nothing of noteworthy importance to contribute to this blog. I thought about perhaps turning this blog into your one-stop station for music reviews, with multiple users posting, but seen as it’s hosted on my own, personal domain, the number of visitors who are likely to frequent this fuck will be relatively low. Suggestions n ting are welcome. I feel like I’m stoned. I am barely coherent. Fuck. Stoners ruin everything. They have even ruined my concentration. They harbour such an abhorrent taste in electronic music.

P.S.: Let’s see how much spam I get. The reference to pleasure is rather overt…

Here we go.

1) Hands Up. Ok, so this was the 2005-06 Euro phenomenon – Cascada Every Time We Touch, and all that extraneously cheesy stuff, *shudder.* some of it warrants approval, but most of it? Nah! Anyway, that’s beside the point. Who in their right mind names a genre ‘Hands up?’ In my not so humble opinion, which, incidentally, will never be revered, it should either be called ‘New Eurodance’ or ‘Crash Bang Mania.’ Actually the latter is apt, as, really, one need only subject themselves to one obnoxiously loud track. Build! Here we fucking gooooooooo! Crash! Enter huge kick with a generic bassline from 07 that has been passed on to the up-and-coming talent.

2) Hardstyle. *Insert ostentatious sample that either contains the phrase: ‘the forces,’ or ‘fuck me. Fuck me very hard.’ But it’s not the content that instigates a fit of vigorous coughing. Oh no! It’s the fact that it’s, not, remotely hard. Producers in this genre have forgotten one key facet of making Hard electronic music: Distorting a kickdrum does not, and I reiterate, does not automatically make you hard.

3) UK Hardcore. This is a simple one. Not all Hardcore is made in the UK. Thankfully one can ascertain a modicum of sensibility in the veterans as they call it Upfront. But UK? *splutters incredulously* I’m waiting for Islamic Hardcore to be produced in Saudi Arabia. Will it ever happen? Dubiously contemplative Orhan will resume in his quest to obliterate genres with imbecilic names.

4) Commercial Trance. Thing is, actual trance is more commercial than Commercial Trance. The days of Milk Inc. and Groove Coverage are over. It’s merely wanna-be-Commercial and it has a lot more commercial appeal to it, but it, is, not, fucking commercial! Just some Germans sitting in FLStudio and hoping to become the next Armin Van Buuren? Oh wait. That’s underground trance? Huh? I thought Minimal Trance was underground? Uh…

5) Progressive Trance. It isn’t progressive anymore. It’s Progressive deadmau5 Anthem House. Seriously! Seriously, what most people call progressive has the exact same template as Anthem or Uplifting Trance. Maybe it’s my delusional and senile friend who calls it progressive when it’s just Trance, but: Intro, filler, breakdown, build up, climax, exit. Yes. Thank Armin for perpetuating this trance is alive saga. It’s dead. Deal with it, or minimalise trance. With my most cordial Thanks, No love whatsoever, Orhan.

6) Post-dubstep. No. It’s just an amalgamation of IDM/experimental with a few dubby elements. Once these products have coalesced, one can immediately see why it is foolhardy to call it dubstep. There’s little correlation, if any, with the original dubstep framework.

7) Unblack Metal. This was brought to my attention by a very cretenous individual. Please tell me how Metal, can, be, Unblack? Unblack isn’t even a fucking word in the English language. You cannot have the opposite of a colour! Uh…

This entry will be updated whenever I discover new genres with hideously comical names. Goodbye, cretins, for now…

Welcome to my first post, which is seemingly rather congruous to this abysmal blog. Expect rants from Gary himself — uh, what am I saying? Expect stuff… and even more stuff. And more and more and more. Clearly, I am in no fine state to write “coherently and cogently”. Did that even make sense? Let’s discard all notions of hyperactivity. Right. Bed. Rate or slate. I couldn’t care less. Au revoir.